I had been on a hiatus from anything art related for at least two years when I decided to paint again…
I had been trying with this home-lady type of life, focussing on making my house and myself pretty… thinking that I would never amount to anything as an artist… but this whole attitude got me terribly despressed… indeed, creating art has nothing to do with being recorgnized as an artist by the world; it’s an inner exploration. I understood this whilst painting myself in this interior.
Acrylics on A1 paper circa 2010
There are certain films that just stick with you, mine is Bringing Up Baby directed by Howard Hawks and starring one of the most adorable on-screen couple: Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant wrestling with Baby, the leopard. I must have seen this film over a hundred times.
This a representation of me in England, a country I called home. I mostly lived in post industrial terraced houses and have frequently walked hours of streets displaying identical houses, each slightly personalised with touches ranging from pictures of the duchess of Cambridge on her wedding day to skeletons to clay fairies…
My pet koala is an anomaly in this strange conformity, and so am I.
The koala bear is my version of Katharine Hepburn’s monkey (at the start of her career, she used to walk around the streets of Hollywood with a monkey to get noticed).
Here is the result of a symbolic act. Performing such a ritual involves destruction and creation in respect with the Life-Death-Life process which governs all.
One of my crulest teachers’ last gift: a card containing a message that seemed so absolutely inappropriate to me regarding the circumstances at the time… This felt like an electroshock: I had to act, it was a matter of psychic life or death.
When you want to influence your environment, you have the possibility to act with force and determination as opposed to letting life wash over you.
At times, we need to send out intentions for a certain thing to end or begin. Here: I wanted toxicity out of my life and beauty to be at the center instead.
I carefully cut out the flamingo from the card and then burnt the rest. I arranged the elements on a pristine white piece of paper and framed the result. The image like a self-portrait of a beautiful creature still graceful among destruction and dirt.